very guiam ways

How could Guiam be so cruel and unusual, they all thought as they eyed her in disgust. Sosle despicable, Guiam, they thought. The heads of IHOG (International Haters of Guiam) gathered round a pit of frying coyote that year to initiate another ranting session on Guiam and other guiamesque bullshit. needless to say, Guiam too was at the event. She mingled with the sour faces, oblivious to their evil plans to murder her or, (the ever more exciting variant that they had worked on for years with no success) cook her as they looked on at her agony. She squirted lemon in coyote's ears and gnawed ruthlessly on the stuffed coyote toes. She skipped away from the cook, with a half-baked coyote in her bag, and drank a martini decorated with a coyote tail, instead of the traditional floating coyote noses.

by the end of the evening, guiam was too stuffed to continue prancing around and playing. the ILOG plan then went into effect, at exactly 20-hundred hours: several sauth meksican coyotes were then unleashed & had been trained to attack any guiam on the premises. This plan was also failed, given that Guiam had gone dressed in the most fashionable coyote outfit, and resembled none other than a coyote. The coyotes were unable to distinguish her in the 'disguise.'

The following morning Guiam awoke on a huge mound of sleeping coyotes and had to find way down without stepping on the ears, noses, or other delicate areas that would ruin them for a future meal... (no one would care for a coyote with a crooked ear, or a flat nose). These were a perfect batch of coyote, undoubtedly from Sauth Meksico, she thought as she yawned amidst the quivering, breathing pile of furry critters.

10 things i love

because mariposa has tagged me, here we go:

1. road trips to mexico in the summer
2. chewing on soft ice until my tongue is numb
3. getting those quick spurts of stories that come out of my hands effortlessly
4. seeing my nephews smile & laugh & play
5. drinking with my good friends & family
6. going to the blues & other music concerts & festivals
7. engaging in a good conversation with friends or family
8. seeing my parents laughing and happy
9. travelling to a new city
10. music & dancing

guiam's return

Sauth Meksico had been exhausting. Guiam se la habia pasado en los pastos con el coyote (a quien se referia malcriadamente como Ka-oti) tomando martinis y riendose de puras estupideces (eso ya era comun en ella, y cuestion de genetica, mas que nada). De por si, tenian bastante trabajo: la guiam que se habia hecho cargo de las oficinas en chicago se la pasaba tomando recados para Guiam de pedidos para mas coyotes. Estos pedidos casi nunca los surtian, ya que las bodegas estaban vacias de alguna coyote. Y, sin embargo, la vida era menos complicada para Guiam. Esas bebidas y risas la mantenian viva y alegre. Lo demas nada importaba. Ni los negocios, ni los clientes, ni la guiam a cargo del telefono, esclavizandose sin pago alguno.

Ya veria Guiam cuando regresara como arreglar sus asuntos de negocio. Por lo pronto, un martini mas; un chiste aun mas ridiculo que el ultimo, un ratito mas en Sauth Meksico, mientras el coyote dormia a su costado, pareciendo una "donut" y apeteciendocele a Guiam cada vez mas. De repente, se dio cuenta que tenia hambre. El coyote lucia tan delicioso, crudamente delicioso...

birthday blues turned bliss

yeah, i was quite depressed. those landmark years always seem to creep up on us. i never thought it would happen to me. anyways, had to babysit, didn't know where i was going to go celebrate, didn't feel like going out anymore, although i told myself that on a b-day, going out & celebrating was an obligation. landmarks are a big deal!

so, rushed to see if i could get some shoes. picked up analisa at the shoe store. shoes sucked. i hate shopping last minute. nothing. i'll wear jeans, as usual. headed back to greeni's house. running late for babysitting: didn't they realize i still had to get back home & change & call people to tell them a donde ibamos a ir? anyways, there'll be enough time. bone was slow. i kept bugging her. analisa in the back seat, spewing out good chisme.

get to my house. why can't she poop at greeni's house? where is everyone? when we rolled around to greeni's house, i see une (my jeep is named Une) outside. what is he doing here? my parents & bro were creeping into the house. i knew it was weird. i suspected then. open the door: Surprise!

I knew, and I felt like an ass. being mean to bone all week. good food, great friends (although we missed some of you), nice gifts, many shots... and little memory of how i crossed the street and got into bed...

the real sandwich story

i know that this sandwich tale has come up on various occassions (& some of you have had to hear it more than once; for that i do not apologize but only ask that you bear w/ me while i explain my side of it). I can understand when people hold grudges sometimes. In fact, there are many movies and literature devoted to such things. History is full of such mishaps. Some life tragedies have revolved around grudges being held for murders of parents or children or girlfriends, of genocide, of loss of livelihood, of land or homes. (such is the case of that oh so famous movie: "El Cabron Que Mató a Mi Padre").

but some grudges, i believe are best left behind in the "cute" memoirs chest, not blown out of proportion and relived at every chance you get, particularly when replaying the incident is for the sole purpose of making me seem "evil-er" than I am. so goes the sandwich story that bone tells to each one of my friends when trying to convince them of how i treat her:

that we were young, she is younger than i am, and at the time, i was much bigger than she was. she was this petite, tiny, cute little thing. that day she had prepared herself a sandwich, and i asked her to give me one bite of the sandwich, because i was hungry too (i couldn't make myself a sandwich because there was no more ham or cheese or something like that). i took the sandwich and took one bite out of it, and continued holding it in my hand, as she beckoned me with her hands to give her back the one bite that was left of it. but instead i continued to eat the last bite of the sandwich, it was gone. and she was so mad, that as small as she was, she took revenge. she took a cup of water and threw it at me and wet my clothes.

[this is the part where i become even more evil, she stops telling the story at this point.] then she ran to hide under my aunt's legs. my aunt was too busy on the phone that she couldn't stop me from going right under that table and yanking her grenhas and calling her names.

that was the stupid sandwich story. tell me: does this deserve fucking international attention or what? i hope one day this is archived in the book of black banda history and buried. i'm not the one who keeps bringing it up (although we have considered it for a movie...).

Quantum physics?!

You come back on friday from work, eat quickly and get ready for a play reading at Mestizo. Analisa is there already. Many people already waiting for the play to start. Adnakiel. It slowly starts to come alive, the actors prisoners to their script, bound to their chairs (not physically), little movement. Mostly words, which, even under these circumstances, were no less powerful. It ends, and bone is distracted by a certain someone in the audience whom she knows and doesn't want to see.
Q&A follows: Analisa quick to engage with some good questions and feedback. Some stupid questions also pop up by some of the nerds in the audience. You think to say to these nerds: relax, let your imagination roll...

You chat casually with one of the cute actors, friend of analisa's, waiting to leave. On the way home you pick up a movie. It comes well-recommended from a co-worker: What the bleep do we know? Silly title. It's weird. Its a documentary. some of the doubts & questions we've all had, come up here. It's a different way of approaching the world: the idea that we are not only observers but participants in what goes on in the world; in science you are usually the observer. Quantum physics disputes this approach. You watch the movie realizing that science is also uncertain of what's going on. weird. you realize you have been less engaged in your own life lately, being so consumed by daily activities. you listen to the message: it's quite opportune.