the real sandwich story
i know that this sandwich tale has come up on various occassions (& some of you have had to hear it more than once; for that i do not apologize but only ask that you bear w/ me while i explain my side of it). I can understand when people hold grudges sometimes. In fact, there are many movies and literature devoted to such things. History is full of such mishaps. Some life tragedies have revolved around grudges being held for murders of parents or children or girlfriends, of genocide, of loss of livelihood, of land or homes. (such is the case of that oh so famous movie: "El Cabron Que Mató a Mi Padre").
but some grudges, i believe are best left behind in the "cute" memoirs chest, not blown out of proportion and relived at every chance you get, particularly when replaying the incident is for the sole purpose of making me seem "evil-er" than I am. so goes the sandwich story that bone tells to each one of my friends when trying to convince them of how i treat her:
that we were young, she is younger than i am, and at the time, i was much bigger than she was. she was this petite, tiny, cute little thing. that day she had prepared herself a sandwich, and i asked her to give me one bite of the sandwich, because i was hungry too (i couldn't make myself a sandwich because there was no more ham or cheese or something like that). i took the sandwich and took one bite out of it, and continued holding it in my hand, as she beckoned me with her hands to give her back the one bite that was left of it. but instead i continued to eat the last bite of the sandwich, it was gone. and she was so mad, that as small as she was, she took revenge. she took a cup of water and threw it at me and wet my clothes.
[this is the part where i become even more evil, she stops telling the story at this point.] then she ran to hide under my aunt's legs. my aunt was too busy on the phone that she couldn't stop me from going right under that table and yanking her grenhas and calling her names.
that was the stupid sandwich story. tell me: does this deserve fucking international attention or what? i hope one day this is archived in the book of black banda history and buried. i'm not the one who keeps bringing it up (although we have considered it for a movie...).
but some grudges, i believe are best left behind in the "cute" memoirs chest, not blown out of proportion and relived at every chance you get, particularly when replaying the incident is for the sole purpose of making me seem "evil-er" than I am. so goes the sandwich story that bone tells to each one of my friends when trying to convince them of how i treat her:
that we were young, she is younger than i am, and at the time, i was much bigger than she was. she was this petite, tiny, cute little thing. that day she had prepared herself a sandwich, and i asked her to give me one bite of the sandwich, because i was hungry too (i couldn't make myself a sandwich because there was no more ham or cheese or something like that). i took the sandwich and took one bite out of it, and continued holding it in my hand, as she beckoned me with her hands to give her back the one bite that was left of it. but instead i continued to eat the last bite of the sandwich, it was gone. and she was so mad, that as small as she was, she took revenge. she took a cup of water and threw it at me and wet my clothes.
[this is the part where i become even more evil, she stops telling the story at this point.] then she ran to hide under my aunt's legs. my aunt was too busy on the phone that she couldn't stop me from going right under that table and yanking her grenhas and calling her names.
that was the stupid sandwich story. tell me: does this deserve fucking international attention or what? i hope one day this is archived in the book of black banda history and buried. i'm not the one who keeps bringing it up (although we have considered it for a movie...).
posted by guiam at 9:30 PM
6 Comments:
hmmm, and what would the title of that movie be?
That is an awesome story, next time I see Bone I will have her telling me about how mean Guiam is.
;-)
Title for the movie: The Lebanese Sandwich Strikes Back.
thanks for filling me in....
by the way, ur not that evil...
Title suggestion: la Cabrona que me robo el sanguich.
hahahaha.
We need to have a sandwich day to heal the wounds of the past. Maybe a new story will replace the old one?
What if we reanact the sandwich saga on stage? You two are hilarious! I have to ask what brought the sandwich story to life again? For Halloween you should dress up like a giant sandwich and chase her down. No, gazoo is to sweet to be chased down by the likes of a sandwich eater like you;)
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