mexican memories
Regresamos de Mexico el lunes en la madrugada. I think the curse is over. It was an incredible experience, y todo marcho perfectamente. I was afraid that something would go wrong, just like in past Mexican winter travelling experiences. This time it was different: We went to 2 jaripeos, to dances, to las minas in Guaxcama which are abandoned, to la Rinconada to see la Virgen, to Mexico City to enjoy Coyoacan, a silly play, a ride in Xochimilco and to see la Virgen. Pagar mi manda. Dar gracias y pedir mas cosas. Despues, viajar entre las entrañas y venas de la ciudad, hasta llegar al Zocalo, caminar todo el dia, dejar de comer (por no tener hambre) solo para llegar a quien sabe donde. Y por fin llegar al Bar El Opera y beber sola pero con irasali, y escuchar el trio tocar como con una harpa la barca, libro abierto, un vodka, otro vodka, un martini asqueroso. Despues marcharnos ya tarde, antes de la medianoche, para alcanzar el camion que sale a San Luis a la medianoche o a la una de la madrugada, para poder viajar de noche y amanecer alla.
Y el frio y el dolor de un hombre aun fresco. Es cuestion de tiempo, eso lo se. Pero si en tantos años volvi a el, como voy a asimilar su ausencia? No entiendo. Sigo sin entender. Nits told me there was nothing to understand. He is a man, and men do things that are not meant to be analyzed. They are not like women. Stop analyzing and trying to give meaning to his words and actions. He is spontaneous, spur of the moment. He concluded suddenly, that second day that he did not want to see me ever again. This was only after I dragged it out of him, after more than 10 attempts to find out why he was acting as he was toward me.
--Bueno, si. Eso es: ya no mas.
--Ya no mas, que? Ya no mas quieres verme? Ya no mas ahora? Mañana? Nunca?
--No. Ya no.
--Ok.
Y entonces entendi. He had to go home and change and go to work the next day. That was probably more important to him at the time than being with me. No, don't analyze anything of why he didn't tell me before, of why he continued to talk to me and meet with me if I meant nothing to him. Don't analyze why he offered to take us back to San Luis on Wednesday when his truck was ready out of the shop. Don't analyze, simply accept it. The time had come for that closure, and it had to be this way.
Y el frio y el dolor de un hombre aun fresco. Es cuestion de tiempo, eso lo se. Pero si en tantos años volvi a el, como voy a asimilar su ausencia? No entiendo. Sigo sin entender. Nits told me there was nothing to understand. He is a man, and men do things that are not meant to be analyzed. They are not like women. Stop analyzing and trying to give meaning to his words and actions. He is spontaneous, spur of the moment. He concluded suddenly, that second day that he did not want to see me ever again. This was only after I dragged it out of him, after more than 10 attempts to find out why he was acting as he was toward me.
--Bueno, si. Eso es: ya no mas.
--Ya no mas, que? Ya no mas quieres verme? Ya no mas ahora? Mañana? Nunca?
--No. Ya no.
--Ok.
Y entonces entendi. He had to go home and change and go to work the next day. That was probably more important to him at the time than being with me. No, don't analyze anything of why he didn't tell me before, of why he continued to talk to me and meet with me if I meant nothing to him. Don't analyze why he offered to take us back to San Luis on Wednesday when his truck was ready out of the shop. Don't analyze, simply accept it. The time had come for that closure, and it had to be this way.
posted by guiam at 5:46 PM
5 Comments:
good to have u back. En espanol, it is not going to be easy, but dammit I need to practice reading in spanish.
you are way tooo good for that dumb, unappreciative bastard!!
Hey...you speak mi lenguaje! (Spanglish) Great to read how my brain thinks.
I would have had a couple of vodka's with you if it had not been for that damn cough.
el amor in any language--absolutely sucks. i know irasali: it's never too late to drink, though.
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