very guiam ways

How could Guiam be so cruel and unusual, they all thought as they eyed her in disgust. Sosle despicable, Guiam, they thought. The heads of IHOG (International Haters of Guiam) gathered round a pit of frying coyote that year to initiate another ranting session on Guiam and other guiamesque bullshit. needless to say, Guiam too was at the event. She mingled with the sour faces, oblivious to their evil plans to murder her or, (the ever more exciting variant that they had worked on for years with no success) cook her as they looked on at her agony. She squirted lemon in coyote's ears and gnawed ruthlessly on the stuffed coyote toes. She skipped away from the cook, with a half-baked coyote in her bag, and drank a martini decorated with a coyote tail, instead of the traditional floating coyote noses.

by the end of the evening, guiam was too stuffed to continue prancing around and playing. the ILOG plan then went into effect, at exactly 20-hundred hours: several sauth meksican coyotes were then unleashed & had been trained to attack any guiam on the premises. This plan was also failed, given that Guiam had gone dressed in the most fashionable coyote outfit, and resembled none other than a coyote. The coyotes were unable to distinguish her in the 'disguise.'

The following morning Guiam awoke on a huge mound of sleeping coyotes and had to find way down without stepping on the ears, noses, or other delicate areas that would ruin them for a future meal... (no one would care for a coyote with a crooked ear, or a flat nose). These were a perfect batch of coyote, undoubtedly from Sauth Meksico, she thought as she yawned amidst the quivering, breathing pile of furry critters.